


The Only One that Can Make You Feel Right

by cantfuckinbelievethis



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Bullying, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Grossness, Child Abuse, Dennis Reynolds is a Bastard Man, Episode: s11e05 Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs, Episode: s12e10 Dennis' Double Life, Episode: s13e10 Mac Finds His Pride, Happy Ending, High School, I needed to gentle them a little, Jealous!Dennis, M/M, Mac and Dennis both have feelings for once, Mac gets a boyfriend!, Mac in this is more like he was in season 1 and 2 in terms of intelligence, There will be Warnings, and SOME emotional intelligence, but also I changed it into what I wanted, but not a lot, canon-typical homophobic mac, eventual therapy and emotional growth, follows the general line of canon, parental neglect, probably OOC cos even I can't write how disgusting the gang actually are, they still stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23646790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantfuckinbelievethis/pseuds/cantfuckinbelievethis
Summary: Honestly, Mac didn’t know whether or not to feel sorry for Dennis Reynolds.On one hand, the guy had convinced himself he was a part of the popular crowd and constantly referred to himself as a “god”, making him sound crazy. On the other hand, he constantly bullied Charlie.He was clearly only just following along with the popular crowd in getting “Dirt Grub” to eat weirder and weirder stuff. Still, Mac was getting more annoyed with Dennis than the others for some reason. Maybe it was because he wasn’t actually friends with those guys, and that he still tried to get Mac to sell him weed. Maybe it was just because Mac didn’t really want to hate Dennis, but Charlie had been his best friend since they were five.Being the bad ass he was, he had to do something about this.(aka. The Gang according to songs by Conan Gray)
Relationships: Charlie Kelly/Dee Reynolds (implied/mentioned), Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	1. Greek God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't like what you said to my friends, one day you're gonna regret, ever messing with them
> 
> 'Cause I know what you really want, a little more confidence, and this is where it's gotta stop, I'm tired of hearing it
> 
> You're just gonna be a fraud, with nothing but fickle friends, Greek God

**WARNING FOR CANON-TYPICAL DISGUSTINGNESS IN THIS CHAPTER!!! THE POPULAR KIDS ARE FORCING CHARLIE TO EAT SOMETHING REALLY GROSS AND UNSAFE.**

**(Also warning for Mac being a dumb homophobe/misogynist)**

___________

Honestly, Mac didn’t know whether or not to feel sorry for Dennis Reynolds.

On one hand, the guy had convinced himself he was a part of the popular crowd and constantly referred to himself as a “god”, making him sound crazy. On the other hand, he _constantly_ bullied Charlie.

He was clearly only just following along with the popular crowd in getting “Dirt Grub” to eat weirder and weirder stuff. Still, Mac was getting more annoyed with Dennis than the others for some reason. Maybe it was because he wasn’t actually friends with those guys, and that he still tried to get Mac to sell him weed. Maybe it was just because Mac didn’t really _want_ to hate Dennis, but Charlie had been his best friend since they were five.

Being the bad ass he was, he _had_ to do something about this.

Mac had been planning an elaborate plan on luring Dennis into a secluded area of the school, and kicking his ass with his awesome karate moves, but he ended up snapping the day before he was supposed to do just that.

He had been looking for Charlie so they could go smoke under the bleachers, and had come across the popular kids surrounding Charlie on the football field. He sighed in annoyance, slowly making his way up to the crowd, assuming that Charlie was once again eating a worm or something.

He glared at Dennis, who was cracking up off to the side and elbowing Adriano as if to say “look what I made Dirt Grub do!” As Mac got closer, his blood ran cold as he saw that Charlie wasn’t just eating something gross of his own free will, he was being held down by two football players.

‘No, no!’ Charlie shouted, turning his face to avoid the used condom that they were dangling above his mouth.

It was the only time Mac had heard Charlie say no to them, and the poor guy had tears streaming down his face. His first instinct was to think that Charlie was being a pussy, but then he remembered that this was a _used condom_ and Charlie might get some random dude’s cum in his mouth, and then he wouldn’t to go heaven because he was being a homo by proxy. Charlie had a reason to be panicked.

Without really thinking — mostly thinking of saving his friend from eternal damnation — he rushed forward, knocking Dennis to the ground to get to Charlie. His brain was on autopilot as he threw himself at the football player holding the condom first. Probably due to Mac’s enormous muscles — and definitely not the football player being taken by surprise — he knocked him fully to the ground. The condom flung a few feet away, thankfully, but very quickly the football player was tossing Mac in the other direction.

He hit the floor, head smacking harshly against the ground. ‘Goddamn it,’ he groaned.

‘Ronnie!’ Charlie cried out in shock, finally scrambling up as both football players let him go and advanced on Mac.

Mac — moving with the lightening speed of a ninja — rolled over and whipped out the pocketknife he had stolen from his mom earlier. ‘Don’t!’

‘Hey,’ a low, powerful voice cut through the chaos. The football players stopped short as Adriano stepped forward like some kind of mob boss. ‘Leave it. Ronnie the _Rat_ isn’t worth it.’

‘Yeah, leave it. I’ll take care of them when they least expect it.’ Dennis grinned sharply.

Adriano rolled his eyes to himself. ‘Sure thing, Reynolds.’

Waving to the rest of his friends, Adriano headed off back towards the cafeteria. Dennis, for once, stayed behind, tilting his head in curiosity as Charlie helped Mac off the ground.

‘Aren’t you gonna follow them, Dennis?’ Charlie asked in confusion.

‘I’m not made to follow; I’m made to _be followed_ , Charlie.’ Dennis rolled his eyes. ‘Besides, I wanted to let you know that I’ll let you off this time. I know I told Adriano that I’ll take care of it, but _maybe_ this went too far.’

‘ _Maybe_?’ Mac snapped. ‘Charlie could’ve gone to hell!’

Dennis blinked. ‘Not sure how you joined up _those_ dots, Ronnie, but I digress. You got any weed?’

Mac took a step forward, fury boiling under his skin. ‘First of all, my name isn’t Ronnie, it’s _Mac_. Second, you’re cut off.’

Dennis’ eyes went cold. ‘How the hell am I supposed to get any goddamn weed if you cut me off, imbecile? Ever since you _ratted_ everyone out, you’re the only dealer that doesn’t own a gun.’

‘Oh, I _own a gun_ ,’ Mac lied.

‘Yeah, okay.’ Dennis scoffed. ‘Look, you’re going to sell me that weed, Ronnie. I need it for my birthday. What do you want for it?’

Charlie tugged on Mac’s arm. ‘Ronnie, c’mon, just give it to him.’

Mac scowled at Charlie before looking back at Dennis. ‘I don’t care if they like us. I don’t care if you like us, but stop pretending that you don’t. It’s annoying and stupid, and you need to shut up about it. You also need to stop messing with Charlie, or you’ll regret it. I want my normal rate, and we get to come to your fucking mansion party and take whatever we want from your house.’

‘Yeah, no, that’s definitely not happening.’ Dennis laughed. ‘I’ll pay you the normal rate for the weed, and then to get _back in your good books_ or what the fuck ever you can come to my party. Steal anything from my house, though, and you’re toast.’ Dennis started to walk away, before turning back to face Charlie with an afterthought. ‘Also, Charlie, don’t fuck my sister while you’re there.’

‘The aluminium monster?’ Charlie gaped. ‘Yuck.’

‘Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen what you put in your mouth, Dirt Grub. My sister is just as disgusting.’ Dennis turned around and headed back to the cafeteria, no doubt to hang around Adriano and his friends and pretend he fits in.

Charlie turned to Mac, awkwardly biting his lip. ‘Are we really gonna go?’

Mac sighed. ‘I don’t know, Charlie. I guess we should since Dennis wants us there.’

‘Does he?’ Charlie frowned. ‘He didn’t say that.’

Mac shrugged, heading to the bleachers. ‘He didn’t need to.’


	2. Affluenza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All these kids have got affluenza, going wrecking their daddy's Benza, crystal liquor cups and designer drugs, they say money can't buy you no love, but a diamond cheers you right up
> 
> Give me none of your affluenza, every day's your birthday, you threw a party but you kinda, hate all your friends, so you're crying in a drive-way, killing time, getting high, can't wait 'til it ends
> 
> Money, money, ain't it funny, honey, when you get what you need, baby, life is a breeze  
> Money, money, give me money, money, 'til I'm bloody, bloody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Canon-typical drugs, bullying, parental neglect, homophobia and misogyny, mention of Charlie's mom being a sex worker

Mac kind of hated himself as he checked his outfit in a passing window for the fiftieth time since putting it on. He had recently started cutting the sleeves of his shirts, which really showed off how much his guns were coming in, and he thought he looked good, but he also knew underneath it all that he really wouldn’t fit in anyway.

Charlie looked just as white trash as him, in a dirty old army jacket left behind by one of his mom’s johns. Mac felt kind of shitty about how he’d reacted in disgust when he saw Charlie at first, so he made sure to continuously tell him how bad ass he was looking on the way up. It seemed to make Charlie feel better, regardless of if he really believed Mac.

‘So…’ Charlie began as they got to the porch. There was no one loitering outside, but they could hear the thumping music and voices going on inside. The house was huge, and intimidating. They were absolutely shitting themselves (except Mac wasn’t, because he was too bad ass to be intimidated by this). ‘Our first high school party.’

‘We’ve been to parties!’ Mac argued.

Charlie scrunched up his face. ‘I mean…kind of? Would we call us huffing paint in my basement a party?’

‘Most bad ass party there is, Charlie.’

‘Yeah!’ Charlie agreed, enthused as they bumped fists.

They both grinned, but immediately their excitement was extinguished as they looked back at the front door. Charlie raised his hand to knock, but Mac knocked it away and shook his head, choosing to just open the door anyway.

They managed to sneak in mostly unnoticed. For how much Dennis kind of sucked, there were loads of people scattered around the mansion. As they walked past the stairs, Charlie was staring up at the top. Mac followed his gaze to see him staring at Dee Reynolds, looking very confused. Dee was leaning against the bannister as she sat on the steps, eyes glistening. Clearly she had been ditched by Fatty Magoo and was feeling sorry for herself. Mac frowned at Charlie, a bit grossed out at his morbid interest in Dee.

‘I’m gonna…’ Charlie faded off, wandering towards Dee almost absentmindedly.

Mac watched as Charlie went upstairs to Dee and grabbed hold of her brace (caged, like a bird). He started tugging at it, and Dee was murmuring something to him, cheeks turning bright red. Mac gaped at the scene, very confused about why Charlie was harassing Dee (even though she was a bitch, it didn’t seem like a great move on her birthday).

Finally, there was a loud _snap_ and a few people also looked over at the sound. Mac sighed in relief when he realised Dee had been stuck to the bannister by her brace and Charlie had helped her off.

He was about to go get Charlie to follow him now that he’d done his charity work, but he and Dee had walked up the stairs. He had no idea what Charlie saw in Dee at all, but he decided it wasn’t his problem. He needed to find Dennis to give him his weed so he could ditch the birthday boy and go get shit faced.

Spotting Adriano’s crew, Mac got close enough to try and see if Dennis was there without calling attention to himself. The football players probably had it out for him since the other day with Charlie.

But Dennis wasn’t there. In fact, Dennis was nowhere in sight. For his own goddamn birthday. Mac felt a strange sickness in his stomach as he got closer to the group and heard them laughing.

‘Cheers to a Reynolds party without the Reynolds’!’ Adriano chuckled, and they all cheered in agreement.

‘Can’t believe you pulled this off,’ a girl giggled. ‘All this mansion, no freaks in sight. How’d you do it, babe?’

Adriano smirked. ‘Well, when I saw MILF Reynolds making out with a random dude who wasn’t their troll dad, I knew what would freak Dennis out enough that he’d leave. The Aluminium Monster was easy enough — she’s trapped in the bannister.’

Mac sighed, letting his head drop back in resignation. Rubbing a hand down his face, he headed toward the front door. He figured Charlie was happy enough doing _whatever_ with the Aluminium Monster, so he might as well go home if Dennis wasn’t there. He’d give him the weed on Monday.

Shutting the front door behind him, he turned to head down the driveway and spotted a dark figure in the distance. Biting his lip, he made his way over on a chance. Finally, about ten feet away, he saw it was Dennis. His head was between his knees, and his fingers were tangled up in his curls.

Mac gulped, throat dry and unsure of what to say. He stopped short next to Dennis, and Dennis slowly looked up. Mac almost gasped when they made eye contact. His usually bright blue eyes were dull, bloodshot, and swollen. He knew better than to mention it, though, and just casually sat down next to Dennis in the shadows.

‘What do you _want_ , Ronnie?’ Dennis huffed quietly, clearly mad at the fact that Mac merely existed. Mac could only just hear him over the thumping of the music.

‘Came to say hello to the birthday boy,’ Mac said.

Dennis chuckled dryly. ‘Of course. My own _father_ couldn’t bother calling, but _Ronnie the Rat_ has decided to wish me a happy birthday.’

‘Actually, I just said hello, I didn’t wish you shit. Also, it’s Mac, not Ronnie.’

Dennis groaned. ‘Jesus, really?’ When Mac only stared back, he huffed again. ‘Fine, _Mac_ , you got my weed or what?’

Mac pulled out a packet of weed, handing it over to Dennis.

‘Cool.’ Dennis grinned for the first time. ‘So I’m assuming this is a birthday gift, and is therefore free?’

‘No way,’ Mac laughed. ‘We had a deal, Reynolds. Cough it up.’

Rolling his eyes, Dennis handed him the money before starting to roll a joint. He was quick about it, practiced, and was lighting it within what felt like seconds. Mac couldn’t help it as his eyes fixated on Dennis’ lips wrapping around the joint and his throat moving as he took a long drag.

Finally, his shoulders drooped as he let out his first breath smoothly. Mac lit up as Dennis offered him the next hit. Mac took it, sighing the smoke out and tilting his head back, enjoying it getting weightless.

‘Quite a party,’ Mac commented. ‘Surprised you’re not in there getting wasted.’

Dennis shrugged as nonchalantly as he could manage. ‘I, uh, made the rounds earlier. Got Maureen Ponderosa to suck me off, so decided to take a break from the chaos.’

Mac could almost smell the bullshit in the air, but decided to let him off just this once since it was his birthday and all. ‘Nice.’

They sat smoking for a while longer, letting the smoke soothe them. After a while, they were stoned out of their minds and giggling. Dennis had ended up leaning up against Mac’s side, and Mac’s entire body was tingling at the contact.

Dennis snorted at the end of his laugh, clearing his throat and slowly looking up at Mac from where was leaning against Mac’s shoulder. He did it slowly, clearly struggling to keep his eyes open.

‘So, what did you get me for a present?’

‘You got the weed,’ Mac said slowly.

‘No, I _bought_ the weed. That’s not a goddamn gift.’

‘I came, didn’t I?’ Mac snorted out a laugh. ‘My presence is the present.’

Dennis grinned and arched an eyebrow. ‘Oh, you’re my gift?’

Mac nodded with a grin. ‘Yeah.’

‘Well then, if you’re my gift that means I own you, no?’

Mac rolled his eyes and shoved at Dennis. ‘You’re a dick.’

‘Nah, you’re mine now.’ Dennis ignored Mac, throwing an arm around his shoulder. ‘Imma keep ya.’

‘You’re so out of it,’ Mac laughed.

‘So are you!’ Dennis chortled as well.

They looked at each other, laughing getting louder. Slowly, the laughter ebbed and they just stared at each other, heads swimming.

‘So, my gift?’ Dennis murmured, arm around Mac’s shoulders tightening and pulling him closer.

‘Uh huh?’ Mac responded.

‘Do I get a birthday kiss, or what?’

Mac wanted to hate him. He wanted to tell him he was going to hell, and he wasn’t going to drag him down with him. He wanted to feel ice-cold hatred. Instead, his whole body flushed with heat and his heart pounded in his chest with anticipation.

His fuddled brain decided the best course of action was not to answer. Instead, he merely licked his dry lips and stared back at Dennis Reynolds — self-proclaimed Golden God — and waited.

As Dennis closed his eyes and leant in, Mac couldn’t help but keep his eyes open to make sure it was happening. He also couldn’t help but really take notice of how hot Dennis was. He never let himself before, but now he found himself mesmerised at the fact that he got to kiss him. He was _going_ to kiss him. It was happening.

Mac finally shut his eyes as Dennis’ lips pressed against his own. They had one soft brush of lips, and Mac gasped slightly as his blood burned hot, heat flashing up his spine. He was about to spring back into a deeper, more passion-fuelled kiss, when they heard the front door open and Adriano’s crew wandered out.

Dennis shoved Mac away, moving a bit away from where he was sitting but made no other move to leave or approach Adriano.

Mac stared back into Dennis’ eyes, heart pounding as the heat turned to the long-awaited ice flooding him. He climbed unsteadily to his feet, and sprinted away without another word. The music faded out the further he got.

After a few minutes, there were no sounds surrounding him except his panting, the thumping of his feet, and the thundering of his heart as he sprinted home. On the way there, he managed to convince himself that he wasn’t running because he had kissed Dennis. In fact, he hadn’t kissed Dennis at all.

He was running because his mother would want him home. His mom would be worried about him. He needed to get home before she called the police or something. Maybe he should say some Hail Mary's.

_Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death._

_Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death_ , Mac repeated as he crossed the road to reach his house. _Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of—_

Out of nowhere, he was knocked off his feet, thrown to the ground and his head smacked against the ground harshly for the second time that week. The noise above him was unbearable, and there was a screeching of tyres as the noise flew away from him. Eyes rolling back, he heard someone hop out of the car and rush over. Wait, make that two someones.

‘Charlie, you goddamn idiot, you hit him!’ A familiar, annoying voice squawked. Deandra Reynolds.

‘Is he muttering something?’ Charlie responded. ‘Buddy, Ronnie, we can’t hear you, man!’

‘Call an ambulance, Charlie; it doesn’t matter what he’s saying!’ Dee yelled.

‘Uh…I don’t have a phone.’

‘Jesus Christ.’

Mac groaned again, muttering under his breath. ‘ _Pray for us sinners now…and at the hour…_ ’

Before he could finish, he was drifting away. His head and leg were pounding as he finally fell unconscious. He had always figured that when he died he would think of God, and in a way he was right. As he drifted off, his mind was filled with soft lips and blasphemous choices.


	3. Heather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky, she's got you mesmerized, while I die
> 
> Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half, as pretty. You gave her your sweater. It's just polyester, but you like her better. Wish I were Heather. 
> 
> Watch as she stands with her holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder. Now I'm getting colder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Canon-typical Mac homophobia, bullying, canon-typical Mac threats of violence, canon-typical mentions of parental neglect

Frank Reynolds had been furious when he found out that Dee and Charlie had taken his car for a joy ride, but luckily had agreed to pay for Mac’s hospital visit. Mainly, he said, so that he didn’t get sued by some white trash lawyer for nothing but a broken leg and a concussion.

Mac, however, didn’t consider himself that lucky as he hobbled through the cafeteria on crutches. It was his first day back after the accident, which meant it was only the following Tuesday. As he tried to hold his bagged lunch while manoeuvring himself down to sit on the bench next to Charlie, he heard some giggles from Adriano’s table.

He scowled in their direction to see them pointing at him as he sat across from Dee and her back brace, who was sitting with them more and more often now for some goddamn reason. Dennis had his arm around Maureen Ponderosa and just smirked back at him.

Clenching his jaw as rage filled him, he flopped down into his seat and opened up his bagged lunch. It was day old McDonald’s, which he wasn’t appreciative of. Usually him having McDonald’s just started a stream of giggles and jokes about his name, but he was already a laughing stock so no need to kick a man when he’s down, he supposed.

He crammed a few cold fries into his mouth before handing the bag off to Charlie. Charlie silently shoved his carefully packed lunch — complete with Ms. Kelly’s heartfelt note — in front of Mac. Before he even looked at the food, he opened up the note to read it. He tried to imagine it in his own mom’s shaky handwriting; he tried to picture a few cigarette burns around the edges just to make it realistic.

Carefully, painfully, he folded up the note and stuck it in his jeans pocket. Sometimes he scribbled out “Charlie” and put “Ronnie” and left them for his mom to find. He kind of hoped that maybe she would think that’s something she had always done, and would start doing it just to keep up the supposed tradition. It hadn’t worked yet.

‘I can’t believe my brother is dating Maureen Ponderosa,’ Dee huffed, breaking Mac’s train of thought with her migraine-inducing voice. ‘If anyone should be dating a Ponderosa, it should be _me_. Look at Bill over there…so cute.’

‘No one cares, Dee.’ Mac sighed.

‘Well, Charlie cares, don’t you, Charlie?’ Dee prompted.

Charlie shook his head awkwardly, mumbling under his breath, ‘No…I don’t care.’

‘Well, fuck you, Charlie. And you too, _Ronald_.’

Mac, snapping yet again, shouted, ‘You bitch! Don’t call mie that! I’ll rip your brace out of your spine if you call me that again! I—’ He broke off immediately as he felt a warm hand trail down his spine. ‘Uh.’

‘Settle down, baby boy,’ a familiar, deep voice murmured in his ear, hand continuing to massage into Mac’s lower back. ‘No need to get so worked up.’

‘D-Dennis,’ Mac mumbled back, unsure of what to do but feeling that heat start to rise in his gut again. What the fuck was it about Dennis Reynolds that got him so worked up?

All of a sudden, the hand left his back and everything snapped back into place. Dennis casually leant against the table, clearly pretending that hadn’t just happened. Almost everyone seemed to just accept that as their new reality. Maybe it hadn’t happened; maybe Mac was imagining every tension-filled moment with Dennis.

‘Dee, don’t be a bitch,’ Dennis instructed. ‘This is why you have no friends.’

‘Like you can talk!’ Dee huffed.

‘Uh, if you look over there, you bitch, you’ll see that I have a girlfriend, and friends. Lots of them.’

‘The only reason you’re even sitting with them is because of Maureen and Bill!’ Dee shrieked. ‘Don’t even act otherwise!’

‘Dee, Dee—‘ Dennis sighed, rubbing his ear like her voice physically pained him. ‘Maybe if you didn’t sit there squawking in your cage like some kind of _bird_ , you would be more likeable. Just a thought, Sweet Dee.’

‘Fuck you, Dennis.’ Dee snarled as Dennis shrugged and wandered back over to his table, wrapping his arm back around Maureen.

Mac stared at him for a few more moments, unsure of what to think about that short exchange, before turning back to his (read: Charlie’s) food and quietly starting to eat.

* * *

‘Well, you look pathetic.’

Mac, immediately recognising the voice approaching him from the other side of the bleachers, sighed. He had been waiting for Charlie (and Sweet Dee, ugh) to come and smoke with him for a bit. Charlie had had a stressful day with distractions and the teachers yelling at him when he couldn’t understand something, so Mac was trying to be helpful by offering to get stoned together.

His first stupid decision was inviting Sweet Dee (who was fighting with Fatty Magoo), and now he had decided to be late when it was fucking freezing and Mac was wearing only a t-shirt and some loose-fitting sweatpants. Despite being under the bleachers, the wind was blowing up and freezing his legs. So, yes, _Dennis_ , of course he looked pathetic. He was _dying_.

Mac simply looked up at Dennis, who was now smirking and leaning against one of the pillars holding up the bleachers. Giving him a short, disinterested look, he turned back to his hands and rubbed them together.

Dennis scoffed and sat down next to Mac. Before he knew it, a warm jacket was placed over his shoulders and Dennis was taking his hands into his own gloved ones, rubbing them together. ‘Jesus Christ, you’re an icicle, dumbass.’

Mac blinked down at their joined hands, mouth parting in shock. ‘Den?’

Dennis made a strange noise in the back of his throat before responding, ‘Yeah?’

‘What ‘cha doing?’ Mac murmured, looking up at Dennis.

Surprisingly, Dennis’ cheeks went red and he scowled, shoving Mac’s hands away. ‘I was just trying to make sure my dealer’s hands didn’t fall off. That a goddamn problem for you, imbecile?’

Mac clenched his jaw, annoyed at himself for saying anything and at Dennis for rushing to anger. Hypocritically, though, he also felt anger flood through him. ‘No, asshole. Just thought maybe your _girlfriend_ would have a problem with you holding my hands.’

Dennis rolled his eyes. ‘God, you’re goddamn dramatic. You want to be warm, or do you want to be a complete pussy about everything?’

Mac sighed, weighing up his options. ‘I’ll take the jacket. Looks better on me anyway.’

‘Absolutely untrue.’ Dennis laughed. They sat in silence for a moment; the quiet making tensions rise. ‘She wouldn’t have noticed, anyway. The hand-holding. Maureen’s in class.’

Mac nodded slowly, looking into Dennis’ bright blue eyes as he stared back, clearly trying to say something that Mac just was _not_ picking up.

‘But she wouldn’t have cared, I don’t think,’ Dennis continued awkwardly. ‘She’s, uh, she’s beautiful, ya know? Don’t think she would get…uh…Yeah.’

Mac nodded again, feeling grittier and uglier than ever. ‘Yeah. She’s…a sight for sore eyes, alright.’

‘Yeah.’ Dennis smiled slightly, something warm and unfamiliar to Mac shining in his eyes. ‘Hotter than most of the girls here, that’s for sure.’

‘You’re lucky,’ Mac said flatly.

‘So, about the other night,’ Dennis said abruptly, almost giving Mac a heart attack at the casualness of it. Mac looked around, paranoid, as Dennis continued, ‘Think we can both agree it was a stupid, stoned mistake, right? Meant nothing?’

‘Of course,’ Mac scoffed. ‘I’m no homo. It _couldn’t_ mean anything to me.’

Dennis half-smiled, seemingly amused, which infuriated Mac. ‘Sure.’

There was a loud giggle from the football field that made Dennis’ head snap up, and his eyes light up with glee. ‘Oh, shit, gotta go. Maureen said she’d meet me.’

‘Oh—’

Before Mac could form a proper response, the jacket was being ripped from his shoulders, leaving him cold again. He watched as Dennis jogged away, meeting Maureen and some of her friends out on the football field. Standing up awkwardly, Mac peeked through the bleachers and saw Dennis wrapping his jacket around Maureen’s shoulders.

Maureen smiled up at him prettily, and he ducked down to kiss her deeply. Mac’s chest ached in a strange way as he watched Dennis smile as he pulled away, looking happier than Mac had ever seen him. Wrapping one arm around her shoulder, he pulled her into his side, warm.

A harsh wind blew then, making Mac shiver. He looked around, not seeing Charlie or Sweet Dee. Sighing, he awkwardly collected his bag and crutches and hobbled away, deciding to go home early.

Mac lay in bed that night, looking up at his ceiling and thinking about Dennis’ smile, which was so gay he hated himself, but he couldn’t help it. They agreed it never happened, but why would Dennis ever kiss him in the first place? He wasn’t like Maureen. He didn’t look like her at all. Dennis clearly had been high. Obviously he had been telling the truth - it meant nothing to him.

He wanted to hate Maureen. He wanted to hate Dennis.

But he only hated himself, and as he drifted off to sleep, he pictured being someone else for a while. Someone with a warm body pressed against their side, and a soft jacket wrapped around their shoulders.


	4. Generation Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This town don't got much to do, And you and I haven't got much to lose, So do you wanna leave everyone in this place for good?
> 
> 'Cause we are the helpless, selfish, one of a kind; Millennium kids, that all wanna die; Walking in the street with no light inside our eyes; We are the worthless, cursed with too much time; We get into trouble and lose our minds; Something that I've heard a million times in my life; Generation Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mentions of child abuse and neglect, bullying, general shitty behaviour (canon-typical), drinking and drug use, dubious consent with regards to touching (not sexual touching, but still not great to touch someone without asking first), typical Mac homophobia

It had been a few months since Dennis and Dee’s birthday, and Dennis — despite still dating Maureen — had started to spend a lot of time with Mac, Charlie, and Dee. Almost everyday after school, he followed Sweet Dee out to the bleachers and smoked with them. Sometimes he even invited them to hang out at night and they drove around in his Range Rover he got from his dad.

Apparently, it hadn’t been a birthday present, like Mac had assumed. Frank only bought Dennis the car as a punishment for Dee for smashing up Frank’s own car, Dennis bitterly corrected once as they cruised out around the suburbs of Philly. Sometimes Dennis just picked up Mac, and they drove around alone. Sometimes he was nice.

When Charlie had asked Dee in private what was happening with Dennis hanging around, Dee had simply responded, ‘He likes being surrounded by people he thinks he’s better than.’

Dennis had even started being nicer to Charlie too, letting him have the final hit of the joint he bought from Mac and giving him candy from his pockets (Mac had no idea why he had candy in his pockets, but it worked, Charlie liked Dennis now).

This particular afternoon, Dennis was running late and they assumed he had just decided not to hang out with them because something better came along. Dee and Charlie were having an argument about something that Mac wasn’t listening to, getting to the point of screaming at each other, when Dennis finally showed up.

‘Well, I broke it off with Maureen!’ Dennis announced, cutting into their argument.

Dee blinked, clearly stunned. ‘What—Why?’

‘She’s getting fat.’ Dennis pouted exaggeratedly.

‘She is _not_ ,’ Dee argued.

‘Then she’s stupid. And it’s getting annoying. I—I don’t have to _explain myself_ to the likes of _you_.’ Dennis sat down next to Mac and stole his joint, taking a long drag.

Mac didn’t say anything, just punched him in the shoulder and stole it back. He took a _long_ drag, trying to keep the lightheaded feeling and get rid of the hollow feeling left after his mom slapped him last night for waking her up because he had a nightmare about his dad.

‘What’s with you?’ Dennis nudged him in the side. ‘You hated Maureen. Figured you’d be thrilled.’

Mac shrugged, rubbing at his forehead. ‘Tired.’

‘Well, get over it.’ Dennis grinned. ‘We’re going out tonight. You, me, and Charlie. The bird isn’t invited.’

Dee squawked in protest.

‘No, Den, I really don’t feel great,’ Mac argued, scrunching up his face at the headache starting to settle in.

‘What, you’re just going to sit in your room and rot when I just had a break up because you’ve got a _headache_? Suck it up, pussy. Ten pm, I’m picking you up from the slums.’

‘Oh, fuck you, Dennis.’

* * *

Hearing Dennis beep outside, Mac grabbed his house keys and walked past his mom, patting her shoulder. ‘I’ll be back later, Mom. Don’t worry, I won’t be too late.’

His mom grunted in response, staring at the TV blankly and taking another drag of her cigarette.

Mac bit his lip, awkwardly paused between the couch and the front door, waiting for something else from her. Maybe asking where he was going, who he was with… Dennis beeped impatiently outside again, and Mac sighed, leaving without another word.

Mac couldn’t help but let his lips turn up into a half-smile as he noticed that Charlie was sitting in the back, leaving shotgun for him to sit next to Dennis. He absentmindedly wondered if that was Charlie or Dennis’ decision. Feeling a little more upbeat, he hurried up to the car and hopped in.

‘Take longer, would you?’ Dennis grumped, but at least he wasn’t glaring.

Mac plugged in his seatbelt, clearing his throat. ‘Uh, my mom wanted to know where I was going…’

‘Sure she did,’ Dennis mumbled, just loud enough where Mac could hear.

‘Ugh, moms, right?’ Charlie piped up from the back. ‘My mom thinks I’m asleep — I had to sneak out the window.’

‘C’mon, guys, let’s not pretend anyone cares we’re gone,’ Dennis said bluntly, eyes fixated determinedly on the road. ‘Now, what do we want to do?’

‘Haven’t managed to get a new fake ID, so that counts out going to a bar or whatever.’

‘Like anyone would believe you’re twenty-one anyway, Mac,’ Dennis snorted. ‘You’re too baby-faced to even look like you’re a junior.’

Mac could already feel the headache forming behind his eyes. ‘Yeah, okay.’

‘God, you’re really gonna sulk the whole time, aren’t you?’

Mac clenched his jaw. ‘I didn’t even want to come out in the first place, Dennis.’

Dennis turned to glare at him, looking ready to start having a hissy fit, but Charlie interrupted, clearly trying to diffuse the tension, ‘Dennis, you look old enough! We could go buy some beers. Then we could drink them in the park!’

‘Sounds like a dignified way to be murdered in the park,’ Dennis grumbled before sighing. ‘Fine.’ He did a u-turn to head in the other direction. ‘The older McPoyle sister works there and Liam owes me, so she’ll probably let me get some without the ID anyway.’

‘Nice!’ Charlie exclaimed, patting Dennis on the back. ‘You’re awesome, man!’

Dennis smiled slightly, making Mac finally let out the breath he was holding in.

* * *

‘So…’ Charlie began as he and Mac waited outside the Wawa for Dennis to come out.

‘Yes, Charlie?’ Mac prompted, not taking his eye off the trail his keys were leaving as they screeched along one of the cars in the parking lot.

‘Why’re you doing that, man?’ Charlie asked uncomfortably. ‘The car belongs to a mom, c’mon man, she went in there with her kids. You saw.’

‘Because we need to show those rich suburban assholes they shouldn’t be near our territory, Charlie!’ Mac snapped, not wanting to explain himself further. ‘Now shut up and keep an eye out.’

‘Nice,’ Dennis commented on Mac’s work as he exited with a dozen beers tucked under one arm. He shoved the beers into Mac’s chest, making him stop keying the car. ‘Let’s go.’

* * *

The ground was slightly damp beneath their backs, but they were all just buzzed enough not to care. Mac had also brought some weed so they had smoked that as well, and let their heads swim as they looked up at the stars.

‘I don’t think I’m gonna graduate next year,’ Charlie mumbled.

‘Honestly, man, I have no idea how your illiterate ass made it into high school, anyway,’ Dennis sighed, taking the last hit of the joint. Charlie sniffed a little, and Mac glared at Dennis. Upon seeing Mac’s scowl, Dennis sighed. ‘Don’t worry about it, though, Charlie. I’ll go to college, become a vet, and then you can work as a receptionist at my practice. I got your back.’

‘Thanks, Dennis.’ Charlie paused. ‘What about Mac?’

‘I can take care of myself,’ Mac snorted. ‘Even if I don’t get a job, I’d be a total badass living on the streets. I’ll be fine.’

‘You would become someone’s bottom bitch so quick you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself.’

‘Shut the fuck up, Dennis! That’s gay.’

‘A lot of things are _gay,_ MacDonald.’

‘Shut _up_!’ Mac shouted, shoving Dennis as he laughed.

‘I don’t know what’s happening,’ Charlie mumbled, taking a bottle of glue out of his pocket to have a sniff.

‘Jesus Christ, dude, you’re going to be so goddamn fucked up at this rate,’ Dennis laughed at Charlie, who shut his eyes and leant his head back.

‘Hopin’ so.’

‘Oh my God,’ Dennis laughed again in disbelief. ‘Can’t believe I hang out with such white trash.’

‘Feel free to leave, then,’ Mac grumbled.

‘Oh, you wouldn’t want that…’ Dennis murmured, hand coming up to rub the side of Mac’s neck.

Mac jumped, shifting away. His eyes widened as Dennis got on his hands and knees and crawled over to Mac, straddling his waist. ‘What the fuck are you doing?’

‘Shh,’ Dennis murmured, leaning down and tucking his head into Mac’s neck, getting comfortable. ‘Charlie’s asleep, don’t worry about it.’

Mac tilted his head to see Charlie snoring softly, dead to the world. Mac didn’t shove Dennis off, but he didn’t dare touch him as he tried to think about anything but the boner beginning to form in his pants.

‘So we’re just cuddling now?’ Mac questioned, voice shaking. ‘Like a couple of homos?’

Dennis sighed, sounding frustrated. ‘No, Mac. If we’re both straight, it’s just guys bein’ dudes. Whatever you want to hear.’

Mac didn’t respond, worried that as soon as he did, this would end. And if he asked Dennis to come back, to touch him again, then he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t what he wanted.

‘If you could choose, what would you do after you graduate?’ Dennis asked in a whisper.

Mac shifted awkwardly beneath him, shivering as Dennis’ breath tickled his ear. ‘Uh…I don’t know.’

‘Sometimes I just want to get the fuck out of here, but I’ll probably end up going to UPenn like some loser who’ll never leave.’

‘I like Philly.’ Mac froze after he felt Dennis tense above him at that admission. It was a weird couple of moments before Dennis finally spoke.

‘If I did go…If I left and moved to fuckin’… Ohio or some bullshit, would you come with me? Would you leave if I asked?’

Mac gulped, knowing it was a conversation rife with underlying meaning. For some reason, he felt that the answer he gave now would either make or break him. Despite most of the time wanting to punch Dennis for being an asshole, he wasn’t sure how he would be without him. For some…indescribable reason, he knew he would follow Dennis Reynolds anywhere he wanted to go.

‘Yeah, Den,’ Mac murmured. ‘For sure.’

Dennis slowly lifted his head, bloodshot, wet eyes flittering between Mac’s. Slowly, almost as if he was trying to increase the tension, he leant in. Mac couldn’t help himself, knowing it was a sin but not knowing how to stop, he let Dennis kiss him.

After a few moments, Dennis swiped his top lip with his tongue and Mac groaned, a hand coming up to tangle in Dennis’ curls. And that’s how they continued, making out for half an hour more with Charlie passed out beside them.

* * *

The next week in the cafeteria line, he heard Maureen talking to one of her friends about Dennis. Needing to know more about the guy he had been making out with repeatedly for the past few days, he eavesdropped as he scooped up some mashed potatoes Charlie said he’d share if Mac waited in line and got them.

‘You were too good for him, anyway, Maureen,’ the friend assured.

Maureen shrugged. ‘Dennis was a commitment-phobe. I’m not sad about it.’

‘How’d it happen, then?’

‘We were talking about the future, and Dennis wants to move out of Philadelphia for college and I don’t. So I broke up with him. It wasn’t going to go anywhere after graduation next year anyway. He’ll find some girl who wants to move to wherever the hell he wants and he’ll drag her down with him.’

Mac dumped some mashed potatoes on his tray, and spun around, not wanting to hear anymore. He headed over to their usual table, and sat down next to Dennis. Charlie, across from him, immediately started demolishing the mashed potatoes.

‘Jesus Christ, man, take a goddamn breath,’ Dennis laughed at Charlie, before shooting a grin at Mac and slyly putting his hand on Mac’s inner thigh under the table.

And, just like that, Dennis Reynolds once again used his power to wipe away anything that was bothering Mac. And that was addictive enough to not give a shit about anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh this relationship is so fucked up. Writing this is already messing with my feelings. Damn you Dennis Reynolds. (Also, don't worry, Dennis will get what's coming to him in this fic). Also I've written out my entire idea of how Dennis' brain works so I may post that once the fic is complete just to get it out.


	5. Maniac

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were with your friends, partyin', When the alcohol kicked in, Said you wanted me dead so, You show up at my home all alone, With a shovel and a rose, Do you think I'm a joke? 
> 
> 'Cause people like you always want back, What they can't have, But I'm past that, And you know that, So you should turn back, To your rat pack, Tell 'em I'm trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: vomiting, homophobia (just so, so much), lots of angst, emotional manipulation, bullying, references to child abuse

Another year, another Reynolds house party, and Mac was exactly back where he started in junior year — alone wandering around the first floor. He had left Charlie and Sweet Dee to their own devices and tried to find Dennis, but he was taking shots with Adriano’s gang. Mac hated that group, but he also didn’t really want to go upstairs now that Charlie and Sweet Dee had been alone for a while. He shuddered to think what he might walk into.

Honestly, Mac had no idea where Dennis stood with Adriano’s group after his break up with Maureen last year, but they seemed to be getting along well enough. Bill wasn’t mad at Dennis for their break up, it seemed. In fact, they were getting pretty buddy-buddy, elbowing each other and cracking up.

Mac, feeling something like jealousy curling in his gut, crept closer, like a stealth ninja, and sat down turned slightly away so he could just hear them but they wouldn’t notice him. He was surprised to hear his name…Well, his nickname anyway.

‘What’s up with Ronnie the Rat and Dirt Grub hanging around you all the time?’ Bill asked, taking a big gulp of beer between shots. He was looking a bit unsteady on his feet and the party had only started an hour ago.

‘Oh,’ Dennis scoffed loudly, clearly a little tipsy himself. ‘They’re such fuckin’ stalkers, man. White trash assholes hang around my sister, so I’ve gotta make sure they’re not taking advantage of her ugly ass, right? Then, suddenly, Ronnie the Rat decides he’s in love with me or some shit.’

Mac felt his chest seize as he tried to not activate his flight or fight response. Why the hell would Dennis say that? As if he was some kind of—

‘Dude, gross!’ Adriano laughed, clearly loving the gossip. ‘A white trash homo? Might as well be dead.’

‘Oh my God, he drives me so crazy. Wish he was dead. Would sure make my life easier.’

Mac bit his lip so hard it almost split as he felt his chest hollow out worse than when his mom slapped him. He refused to cry. Men don’t cry. Men who cried were fuckin’ homos, and Mac was no _goddamn homo._

‘Wait, are they here?’ Adriano asked excitedly. ‘If the Rat is so in love with you, you should fuckin’ hit on him. Inspire hope or some bullshit, and then fuckin’ _destroy him_.’

‘Oh my God, yeah, he’d look like such a joke,’ a girl giggled.

‘Aw, I don’t know I want to do that…’

‘Why, you afraid of hurting your boyfriend’s feelings?’ Bill scoffed.

‘Of course not. Just, low hangin’ fruit, ya know? Also, don’t want anyone thinking _I’m_ a homo.’

‘Do it in your room, then no one will see. Then report back!’ Adriano suggested. ‘Then, we’ll be downstairs to watch him run away crying like the homo he is.’

Dennis hesitated, and Mac could see him shuffling awkwardly in the corner of his eye, clearly trying to make up his mind. ‘O-Okay. I mean, yeah. Why not? Deserves it for being such an annoying homo anyway, right?’

‘Yeah!’ They all cheered, raising their glasses before draining their beers.

Mac stood quickly while they were distracted, making his way over to the stairs and going to rush up to Charlie and Dee. _Dennis wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. He’s lying and showing off, and he wouldn’t do that. Dennis was the one who started all of this —_ he _was the homo, not Mac._

He made it about halfway up the stairs before someone called his name, ‘Mac!’

Mac hesitated, not really wanting to turn around, but having some kind of hope that Dennis wouldn’t do this to him. That he would take him up to his room, tell him about what he said he would do, and maybe even tell Mac to play along if he needed to, but he wouldn’t really do it, would he?

Dennis came up beside him unsteadily, awkwardly smiling. ‘Hey, wanna go up to my room for a bit?’

Mac stared back at Dennis for a few moments, eyes wide, before nodding. He followed as Dennis went up to his room. As soon as Mac shut the door behind him, Dennis was pressing him into it, kissing him drunkenly.

‘Whoa, whoa,’ Mac said, pushing Dennis away.

Dennis frowned, panting. ‘What?’

Mac gulped, not wanting to let Dennis know he knew about the plan. He wanted to see if Dennis would tell him. ‘Uh…I’m not…’

Dennis sighed, pulling away. ‘Jesus, Mac, I get it. You’re not gay, okay? Will you just shut up about it already?’ He cupped the back of Mac’s neck and kissed him again.

Mac, unsure if Dennis just wanted to kiss him or was going through with Adriano’s plan, kissed him back. He felt Dennis melt into it a little, before freezing up and pushing Mac away. Mac’s heart sunk. _Here we go_.

‘Don’t kiss me, you goddamn homo,’ Dennis said unconvincingly. ‘As if I would want your trash mouth anywhere near me.’

‘You were just kissing me a second ago, dude,’ Mac deadpanned.

‘Only to shut your stupid ass up,’ Dennis scoffed. ‘I don’t like you. You’re nothing. Get out.’

Dennis turned around, walking further into his room. Mac thought he would feel worse if Dennis did follow through with the plan, but all he felt was unsurprised and furious.

‘Well, that was pathetic and unconvincing,’ Mac barked, and Dennis spun around in shock. ‘If you’re going to try and make me into a joke, Dennis, try harder not to get a boner next time. You’re a goddamn asshole, saying what you said to that pack of dickheads. I’m not a goddamn homo, Dennis. _You are_. You care so much about what they think? Well, go ahead and tell them that I’m trash and that you hate me. I hope you get their friendship, because you just lost mine — I’ve had it.’

Without even allowing Dennis to respond, he spun around and headed out the door. Running down the stairs and out to the street, he heard Adriano’s gang laughing at him. Sniffing a little, he wrapped his arms around himself against the cold as he walked home.

Fuck Dennis Reynolds.

* * *

Mac was asleep when his landline rang. Not wanting his mom to wake up, he rushed downstairs and picked it up.

‘Hello?’

‘Mac?’ A drunken, wobbly voice responded.

Mac blinked in surprise, and then sighed, shutting his eyes. ‘Dennis. What do you want?’

‘I…’ There was a strange noise from the other end of the line that cut Dennis’ next words off, almost like a sob.

‘Dennis. It’s five am. What do you want?’

‘Can you come help me?’ Dennis sniffed.

‘What happened?’

‘I’m at the end of your street, I just…I…’ Dennis groaned.

Mac hung up the phone, rushing out the front door to see Dennis’ car at the end of his street. It had smashed into a telephone pole, but not too badly, thank God. Still, panicked, Mac ran over to the car and opened the door, only to have Dennis fall half out, slumping into Mac's chest.

‘Den?!’ Mac panicked, shaking him slightly. ‘Dennis, are you okay?’

‘I—’ Dennis cut himself off again, but this time by puking on Mac’s feet.

‘Oh. God.’ Mac cried. ‘Dude, that was so gross.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Dennis whined, wiping the puke from his mouth with his sleeve.

Mac’s chest squeezed as Dennis looked up at him with wet eyes. Wiping Dennis’ wet cheeks with his own sleeve, he sighed. ‘C’mon, man. Let’s get you out and in the passenger seat, I’ll take you home.’

It was a challenge and a half getting Dennis out of his side and into the passenger seat, and a gross task to try and rinse his feet with the water bottle Dennis had in the back. Doing it all in the dark made it even harder. But, soon, he was in the car and driving Dennis home.

Dennis didn’t say anything the whole drive back to his place. Mac couldn’t tell since he was facing away, but he was pretty sure he was asleep against the window. When Mac pulled into his driveway, trying his best to be quiet, Dennis was definitely asleep.

Mac bit his lip and gently nudged Dennis. ‘Dennis. Time to wake up and go inside.’

Dennis groaned, opening his eyes slowly and widening when they landed on Mac. He gripped Mac’s sleeve. ‘Don’t go.’

Mac blinked, confused by this unusual show of emotion from Dennis. ‘Uh. No, dude. I’ve got to go home, and I’ll be walking back in bare feet, so I want to get going now.’

‘No, just come inside and stay. You can crash with me,’ Dennis insisted, still a little drunk.

‘No, Dennis!’ Mac snapped, too tired and sad for this. ‘I’m not doing that, goddamn it. You’ve treated me like shit. I don’t want to see you at all anymore — not as a friend, not…just…nothing. I don’t want any of it, got it?’

Dennis blinked in shock as Mac got out of the car, leaving him in the passenger seat alone. ‘Mac!’

‘You need to get some help, man,’ Mac called back, turning around and heading home. As he started his walk, he thanked Jesus, Mary, and Joseph the sun was beginning to rise and that it was only fall so he didn’t get frostbite.

He had just had possibly the worst night of his life; he really didn’t need to lose a toe as well.


	6. The King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babes always flirting away, getting every number, And you can have your fun 'cause I know that it's fake, I know when you're done you'll come running my way   
> -  
> You like me, oh, obviously, So why you trying to leave when you know that I'm the king?, 'Cause I'm supreme, Other lovers give you no luck, 'Cause I'm the only one that has made you fall in love, So just shut up  
> (Choose me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Attempts at emotional manipulation, trapped, dubious consent (in the form of coercion), Mac-typical homophobia, Dennis being a bastard man (it's in Dennis' POV, which is a warning all its own), Dennis is thirsty and it's a problem, canon-typical violence

It had been almost a year of Mac ignoring Dennis. In a way, he hadn’t been completely able to. Dennis still hung out in their group, so he couldn’t escape him entirely, but he hadn’t met his eye, hadn’t spent any time with him one-on-one, and didn’t even speak directly to him when he didn’t have to. Dennis was vaguely impressed.

Mac definitely was still into him, evidenced by his eyes lingering when he thought Dennis wasn’t watching, and the jealousy in his eyes when Dennis asked some random girl in their class to the prom. So the fact that he had managed to effectively ignore him and avoid him the entire year until now was impressive.

They had all just graduated — Mac and Charlie surprisingly made it through high school, though Dennis suspected there was a lot of cheating there — and were at a party at the Reynolds’ residence. Mac looked put out at being there, but Dennis suspected Charlie had whined until he gave in.

Knowing that after the summer was over Dennis was going to head off to UPenn, he decided he wanted to make sure he and Mac reconnected before he left. Maybe had sex some more during the summer while there was nothing to do. Perhaps if he dragged Mac out of his put-on heterosexuality he’d feel better and get over what Dennis did.

Though Dennis understood that what he did wasn’t _great_ , he didn’t see why it warranted this passive-aggressive show of silent treatment all year. Dennis probably would’ve done something about it if he hadn’t actually had to buckle down and focus _unlike some people_.

Dennis rolled his eyes at Adriano’s group in the corner doing shots and wandered over to the kitchen where Mac was sitting on their counter. He was already a little drunk, swaying slightly from where he sat. A girl was standing between his legs, running a gentle hand down his arms, which had gotten slightly beefier during the year but not much. Mac was still a skinny little rat, but he had grown into his body more and filled out a bit, which made him look more like a man than a teen. He had also gotten a tattoo or two throughout the year that were dumb as fuck, but added to the overall look.

It frustrated Dennis to no end that Mac was ignoring him, _looking like that_ , when he had had his full attention when he was far less attractive. Surely he could capture it again, he assumed, but Mac looked pre-occupied with his latest conquest.

That was another thing that came along with Mac’s growth and the upcoming end of high school — more and more girls seemed into him, and he was taking full advantage. Social status didn’t seem to matter as much when college was fast approaching and everyone wanted to lose their virginity, and Mac…well…looked like that. _Fuck_.

Dennis leant against the kitchen doorframe, biting his lip and taking careful sips of his drink as he watched the girl flirt with Mac. She ran her hand up and down his bicep, cooing at how _huge_ it was, like Mac was some kind of goddamn body builder rather than an eighteen year old that just seemed to hit puberty. To be fair to the girl, Mac had also finally started taking more care of his personal hygiene, and had enough stubble to be reasonable and not just gross. And his hair was now more styled. And he still wore stupid sleeveless shirts but they actually fit his broad shoulders now. And the freckles across his shoulders got darker as summer was approaching and actually looked good enough to lick and—

_Goddamn it, Dennis. Focus._

The dude’s name was Ronald McDonald, and no matter how fucking much he decided to get hotter during the time avoiding Dennis, Dennis was still leagues ahead. And he had to remind him of this. He had to remind him of who was the king here. Not like he had to feel jealous of this girl, Dennis knew it was all fake. Mac could have his fun, but at the end of it all, nothing could compare to what Dennis gave him.

Dennis strolled further into the kitchen, smiling at the girl who almost…scowled at him? Now that couldn’t be right. ‘Hey, it’s Lauren, right?’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Laura.’

Dennis hummed. ‘Don’t care. I’ve got to talk to Ronnie here, do you mind?’

Mac’s eyes narrowed at Dennis, but he didn’t say a word.

‘Uh, we were _talkin_ —’

‘Uh-huh, on your bike, let’s go,’ Dennis interrupted the girl, pushing her gently out the way with his hip and taking her place in between Mac’s legs.

Lauren gaped at him, before looking to Mac. ‘Ronnie? Aren’t you gonna say something?’

Mac bit his lip and hesitated, making eye contact with Dennis for the first time in a long time. Dennis smirked back at him, letting the hand furthest from Lauren subtly touch Mac’s knee. Mac swallowed sharply, awkwardly shuffling in his spot on the counter. ‘Uh, I should probably talk to D-Dennis, so. Maybe another time, Lauren?’

Lauren’s jaw clenched. ‘Oh my God. It’s _Laura_.’ After a moment, she huffed. ‘Whatever, homos.’

With that, she left the kitchen, leaving Mac and Dennis alone. Dennis tilted his head back to look at Mac, who scowled in response. He opened his mouth to say something, but Dennis put up a hand for him to wait and headed back to the kitchen door, shutting and locking it so no one could come in and bother them.

‘Uh, what are you doing?’ Mac asked, voice arching at the end so much he sounded like Charlie.

Dennis came back over, resting his hands casually on Mac’s thighs and smiling wickedly as they tensed beneath his grip. ‘We need to talk, MacDonald.’

‘I don’t want to talk to you, Reynolds,’ Mac snapped in response, but didn’t make a move to leave.

‘Oh, sure you do,’ Dennis purred, fingers lightly digging into Mac’s thighs. ‘C’mon. Let’s just talk about it.’

‘About what?’ Mac arched an eyebrow.

‘About how you’re lying to yourself for starters,’ Dennis snapped, annoyed at the obvious challenge Mac was putting in front of him. ‘All those girls?’

‘Are you jealous because I’m slamming more ass than you ever did?’

Dennis scoffed. ‘No, I’m _embarrassed_ for you because you’re doing these girls when you’re obviously not interested in them.’

‘And how would you know that?’ Mac snapped, shoving Dennis’ hands off him and hopping off the counter.

Dennis shoved him back against the counter, trapping Mac in by placing his hands against the counter either side of his hips. He relished in the shocked gasp Mac let slip before leaning against him. ‘You can’t tell me any of them made you feel the way I did. You can’t tell me that you don’t think of only me at night. You can’t tell me that you don’t still want me.’

‘You don’t deserve me after the way you tried to humiliate me,’ Mac growled back, shoving Dennis away. ‘I _don’t_ want you, Dennis. I don’t even find you attractive, because I’m straight and not into little homo twinks like you.’

Dennis rolled his eyes. The lie was so obvious it was pathetic. He leant against the counter next to Mac, pressing his arm into Mac’s and thinking of the right buttons to push to turn this into what he wanted. Finally, he leant close so Mac could almost feel his breath and murmured, ‘Baby, don’t lie to me. You worship me, you’re _obsessed_ with me, you’re in love with me. Just give in. I’m not going to quit. I’ll get what I want eventually.’

Mac finally snapped, shoving Dennis back into the counter. His chest heaved as he stared at Dennis, eyes dark. Dennis only smirked back, hands coming out to touch Mac’s stomach. He observed, pleased, as Mac shuddered and shut his eyes. He let his hands slowly trace up Mac’s chest before looping his arms around his neck, hand coming up to brush through the hair at the back of his head.

‘Shut up…’ Dennis murmured, though Mac wasn’t saying anything, and leant in until their lips were almost brushing. ‘And choose me.’

Mac let out a mix between a groan and a whine, and closed the space between them, pressing his full lips against Dennis’. It was hot, and wet, and better than anything Dennis had felt before. There it was, there was the high of being worshipped that he had craved so badly.

During Mac’s avoidance, he had tried anyone else. He had tried girls at school, he had tried guys at the gay bars he had snuck into, and nothing compared. He knew it had to be doubly true for Mac, who definitely didn’t like girls as much as he pretended to.

Mac gripped Dennis’ hips, and — in a surprising show of strength — lifted him onto the counter. Dennis gasped against Mac’s lips, immediately beginning to grind against him. If he learnt nothing else from his recent escapades with men, he knew he loved a bit of manhandling. Mac moaned again, responding with his own hips moving against Dennis and trailing his lips down Dennis’ neck, leaving wet, hot kisses.

‘Fuck, _yes_ ,’ Dennis hissed under his breath, and Mac froze.

Pulling away, panting and flushed, Mac removed every point of touch between them. ‘I…Dennis. I can’t do this. I can’t forgive you and get over it. I can’t let you drag me down this path of sin again.’

Dennis clenched his jaw. ‘For Christ’s sake, Mac, don’t you get it? God doesn’t give a shit!’

‘I have faith that he knows the best path for us all, and I’m not going to listen to some sodomite who uses his name in vain.’

‘Goddamn it,’ Dennis sighed, tipping his head back in frustration. ‘Well, what now, then? You’re just going to ignore me and I’m going to go to college where you’ll never see me again? Is that what you want, Mac?’

Mac chewed on his lip, eyes fluttering closed as he thought. After a quick moment, he opened his eyes with determination. ‘No. I don’t want that. I want you in my life, Den, but no more of this. This has to be done. We can be friends, and that’s all. I’m not doing this anymore with you.’

Dennis clicked his tongue in thought, trying to cool his blood down and switch gears. Friends…okay. Maybe he could do that. Not entirely what he wanted, but it was a step closer to it. He was no quitter after all, and one day, Mac would be easier to crack. He just had to take his next steps wisely.

‘Fine.’ Dennis hopped off the counter, holding his hand out to Mac. ‘Friends.’

Mac smiled gently, more gently than he had in seven months, and shook his hand. ‘Yeah, Den. Friends.’ He hesitated for a moment, before continuing, ‘Does this mean I can visit you at Penn?’

Dennis smirked. ‘Of course, man. Before that, though, we have the whole summer to look forward to.’

Mac beamed. ‘Yeah, sounds good!’ He headed for the kitchen door, and Dennis watched after, biting his lip at how Mac’s ass had gotten a little better as well.

Well, not his ultimate goal, but baby steps.

Maybe he’d get him in college.


	7. Wish You Were Sober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nineteen but you act twenty-five now, Knees weak, but you talk pretty proud, wow, Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed, Take me where the music ain't too loud, Trade drinks, but you don't even know her, Save me 'till the party is over, Kiss me in the seat of your Rover, Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Unwanted advances (mild and over quickly, but still), internalised homophobia, irresponsible alcohol use, drunk driving (nothing happens to them, just more of a disclaimer please don't do what Mac did and drive tipsy)

During his time away from Dennis, which was most of the time now, Mac had come up with one ultimate truth: he liked Dennis…like that. Like, he wanted to bang him but also hold his hand and shit.

He still clearly wasn’t gay, since girls were hot and he wasn’t interested in any other guys, but he could finally accept that there was something about Dennis that would probably always get to him. Maybe it was because Dennis was kind of an effeminate dude with his make up and shit, and maybe that was close enough to being like a chick and also he was Mac’s best buddy.

Either way, this was something he had come to accept while Dennis was away at college. Well, since Penn was only twenty minutes away from Mac’s house — half an hour in traffic — it wasn’t really like Dennis was “away”, but he chose to live on campus with everyone else. He didn’t come visit a lot, and Mac had a part time job working with Charlie at hot dog on a stick so he didn’t have a lot of time to go up and see Dennis. So it may have well been that Dennis did go to college in a whole other state.

But, finally, a few months into Dennis’ first semester at Penn, Dennis called him up and asked if he wanted to come up and go to a party with him. He didn’t invite Charlie, and when Mac asked about Sweet Dee, he said she wouldn’t be there either (mainly because she wasn’t invited, but the exclusivity brought something embarrassingly warm and fuzzy to Mac’s chest).

Since Dennis had to finish an assignment the day of the party, he picked Mac up after he submitted it at around three. He took him back to his private dorm room, bragging about how unusual it was — practically _unheard_ of — for a freshman to get a private dorm room. Mac ignored the glares from the other people on the same floor and followed Dennis into the room.

It was more pathetic than what Mac had been imagining, but it was still better than his own room at home. It was smaller, just fitting a twin bed and a small desk next to it, but it was well taken care of, and there were shelves lining the wall above Dennis’ bed, filled to the brim with psych books.

Mac dropped his sleeping bag and pillow on the floor, sitting on Dennis’ bed and crossing his legs. ‘This is pretty cool, Den.’

Dennis grinned as he nodded, shutting the door behind him and locking it. When he turned around to face Mac, he scowled. ‘Get your feet off my bed, you animal.’

Mac quickly sat up straight, awkwardly placing his hands in his lap and trying to look unassuming. Dennis plopped down next to him and gestured to his small TV in the corner of his room. The PlayStation Dennis had gotten for his birthday was hooked up to it.

‘Wanna play for a while before we go?’

Mac nodded and dove for the controller that looked the least beat-up. Dennis rolled his eyes, but joined him on the floor. The entire time, he was tucked warmly into Mac’s side, elbowing him when he was winning and cursing Mac out when he was losing.

They ordered in some pizza for dinner, before starting to get ready at nine. Well, Dennis got ready. Mac just watched Dennis get ready, trying to ignore his pecs and collarbones and arms and everything else that was exposed as Dennis tried on outfit after outfit. When he was finally ready, he seemed to only just realise that Mac hadn’t changed from his muscle shirt, ripped jeans and combat boots.

‘Is that what you’re wearing?’ Dennis let out a long-suffering sigh when Mac nodded in response. ‘I suppose it’ll do. Just don’t expect to get laid looking like that.’

Mac pursed his lips. ‘Uh, where would I even bring anyone back to — the sleeping bag?’

Dennis nodded. ‘Yeah, good point, buddy. Don’t want you banging anyone on _my_ bed.’

‘I hope you also don’t bring anyone back to bang when I’m sleeping right below you, dude.’

Dennis rolled his eyes. ‘Fine, I’ll just get blown in the bathroom.’

‘Yeah, okay.’ Mac scoffed.

* * *

Going to a college party with Dennis felt awfully like going to a high school party at Dennis’ house. The minute they walked in, Dennis was off and socialising, leaving Mac to his own devices. Only, this time, Mac knew absolutely no one. There was no resorting to Sweet Dee or Charlie for company.

Instead, he resolved to get as drunk as he could to ignore how mad he was at Dennis for ditching him. He made a beeline for the drinks table, filling up a cup with beer and downing it as fast as he could before filling up again.

‘Whoa, slow down there, champ,’ a frat boy looking dude laughed beside him, patting him on the shoulder. ‘You don’t want to get too fucked up so early on.’

‘Nah, that sounds good to me,’ Mac responded, downing another cup before letting out a burp.

The frat dude laughed. ‘You’re funny. Want to hang out with me and my buddies?’

Mac hesitated, looking around a moment for Dennis before deciding, fuck Dennis. Turning back to Frat Dude, he nodded. ‘Yeah, man.’

He followed Frat Dude, drink in hand, to his friends. Frat Dude introduced Mac, and told Mac his name was Trent. That was the only name he remembered out of the group of frat boys. He wasn’t sure how to feel about them since they were all skinny, rich looking punks, but at least they were talking to him.

‘So, what’s your major, Mac?’ One of them, who had had a sneer the entire time and Mac really didn’t like him, asked.

‘Don’t go here.’ Mac frowned. ‘I…Uh, I’m actually here with my friend, Dennis, but…he’s gone off to probably hook up with some chick.’

Trent smirked. ‘Uh…Your friend is Dennis Reynolds?’

Mac nodded. ‘Yep, that’s right. Best buddies.’

‘And you think he’s hooking up with chicks here?’

Mac nodded again, but this time with more hesitation. ‘Yeah…why?’

The guys snickered, and Trent shushed them. ‘Mac, would you wanna come upstairs with me? Think one of the rooms are empty.’

‘I mean…Is this because you wanna buy some weed? Did Dennis tell you I’m selling?’

Trent’s smile hitched up at the side. ‘Sure. Let’s head up there and I’ll buy some.’

Mac hesitated again, not sure why all the guys were smirking at them, but glad he was gonna sell something here, before nodding. He followed Trent as they made their way upstairs into one of the rooms.

‘Alright,’ Trent began as he shut the door behind them. ‘You wanna do this or what?’

Mac nodded, digging around in his pocket for his weed and freezing when Trent grinned and whipped off his shirt. ‘Uh…’

‘You got the condom and lube or what, dude?’ Trent locked the door and flopped himself down on the bed, putting his arms behind his head.

Mac looked around aimlessly, not really sure how to proceed. ‘I…I’m not gay, dude.’

Trent frowned, sitting up. ‘But…you were hitting on me.’

‘I was not!’ Mac practically yelled, and then blushed as Trent’s eyes widened in shock. ‘Sorry. I, uh, it’s wro—I mean…I’m just not. I…I don’t wanna.’

Slowly, Trent nodded. ‘Okay. But you’re friends with Dennis?’

‘I am…I don’t know how that links up though…’

Trent let out a little laugh and shook his head. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s…It’s nothing.’ Trent stood, grabbing his shirt and pulling it back on. ‘Well, Mac. Have a good rest of the party.’ Pressing a kiss to Mac’s cheek that made him blush even more, he left the room.

In a state of shock that he was hit on at a party and nearly coerced into some gay sex, Mac sat down on the bed in silence. A few moments later, the door slammed open as Dennis strode in, clearly pissed off and drunk.

‘What’s going on here?’ Dennis snapped. ‘I just saw _Trent_ leave.’

Mac nodded. ‘Yeah, he…he wanted to buy some weed.’

Dennis’ eyes narrowed as he stumbled a little. ‘Is that right?’

‘Yep.’ Mac’s eyes also narrowed in response. ‘You know, you’d know what was happening with me if you bothered to stick around rather than just ditching me at the first opportunity to get tanked.’

Dennis sighed in annoyance. ‘Christ, Mac. Are you really going to whine the entire time you’re here?’

‘Are you going to be a dick the entire time I’m here?’ Mac challenged.

‘Oh, fuck off, you little twink.’

Mac clenched his jaw, feeling the familiar rage boil up inside. ‘That’s it. This party is shit — I’m leaving.’

Mac stormed past Dennis, heading downstairs and hearing Dennis call out goodbyes to people as he followed him out. He hadn’t really been expecting Dennis to follow him, but he was glad since he didn’t particularly want to walk back to the dorm. It was only five minutes walking and two minutes driving, but in the dark he knew he wouldn’t find his way back.

‘I’m driving,’ Mac stated as they approached the Range Rover. ‘You’re too fucked up.’

Dennis rolled his eyes, but relented for once, tossing Mac the keys.

They rode back in silence, neither wanting to discuss anything that had happened in the short hour they were at the party. It seemed awkward, fucked up moments were becoming a norm with them. When Mac pulled into Dennis’ parking spot outside his dorm, neither of them made a move to get out of the car. Dennis was swaying in his seat as the car powered down and went dark.

‘Why’d you follow Trent and I upstairs?’ Mac whispered, finding something brave in the dark silence.

‘He’s a dick,’ Dennis spat, words slightly slurring. ‘You could do better than him.’

‘I wasn’t trying anything with him, Den,’ Mac sighed in frustration. ‘I’m _not gay_.’

‘Yeah, okay.’ Dennis scoffed, turning in his seat to fully face Mac. He didn’t say anything, just kept staring at Mac’s profile.

Feeling the side of his face tingle, Mac turned to Dennis and quickly found himself entranced. Dennis’ soft lips were slightly parted, his cheeks were burning red, and his curly hair was unruly from dancing. He looked otherworldly, and Mac had a hard time keeping his hands to himself.

Giving in to the need to touch, _to feel_ , Mac reached a gentle hand out and ran it through Dennis’ hair. ‘You’re a mess, dude.’

Dennis gulped, eyes scanning Mac’s face before grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and pulling him in. Soft lips parted against Mac’s own and he sighed into the kiss, unable to help himself. It was possibly the sweetest, gentlest kiss they’d ever shared. Every other was burning with passion and heat. This one felt like they had all the time in the world, and that it was all okay. It was only when their tongues met and Mac tasted beer that he pulled away.

‘Den, no,’ Mac murmured, gently pushing him away. ‘We can’t do this again. For just…so many reasons. Number one being how drunk you are.’

Dennis pulled Mac back in, gently pressing a few more kisses to Mac’s now unresponsive lips. Mac figured it was better to just wait for Dennis to get sick of him not responding than to pull away, because he knew Dennis Reynolds would find a way to drag him back in, just like he always did.

Finally, Dennis sighed, pulling away but keeping his hands on Mac, sliding down to his biceps. ‘Will you still stay over? Please?’

Mac bit his lip, really debating whether it was a good idea, before giving in due to pure laziness and not wanting to find a way home. ‘Yeah.’

It was only eleven at this point, since they left the party so early, but they got right into bed anyway. Dennis had whined that he was cold while they got changed until Mac gave into the idea of sleeping in the same bed. As he lay next to Dennis, he stared down at his sleeping bag. In a chilling sort of way, it occurred to him that he never even bothered to unroll it.

He heard Dennis start snoring beside him, and sighed, thinking about tonight. Really, hardly anything happened in the grand scheme of things, but it all spoke volumes. Their short argument, Trent hitting on him out of some assumption that he’d want it, and Dennis following them up there.

As he gazed up at Dennis’ ceiling in thought, he knew. He knew Dennis would always manage to hurt him. He knew he’d always manage to let Mac down if Mac let him in the way he desperately wanted to. So he resolved to love Dennis quietly, move on eventually, and not let him in during the meantime.

He knew, lying there now wide awake, that he would be leaving the next morning before Dennis woke up. He’d leave a note explaining why he didn’t say goodbye, he’d collect his things, and he would walk to the nearest bus stop to get back to his life.

To get back to his existence without Dennis, which was where he planned to stay for the next few years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly not thrilled with how this chapter turned out, especially since it had been one of my highly anticipated ones to write, but here we are.


	8. Idle Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they watched the sunrise
> 
> Blinking out of red eyes, and sore minds
> 
> The airplanes keep flying by, and they cry
> 
> 'Cause they've never even touched the sky
> 
> No, they'll never even touch the sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of child emotional neglect, canon-typical Dennis narcissism and unhealthy thought processes lol

If you’d told Dennis a few years ago that the only people to turn up to his graduation would be Charlie and Dee, he wouldn’t have believed you. Now, though…now it made sense.

His mother was too busy doing whatever she was doing to turn up, and Frank probably wasn’t even aware that Dennis graduated. He’d find out soon enough when he doesn’t get an invoice for another semester. He briefly wondered if Frank would be proud he had one kid who managed to finish college, but chose to not go down that path.

His parents’ absence he probably would’ve guessed a few years ago — again, not too surprising. The fact that Charlie and Dee were there, but not Mac, now _that_ would’ve been a shock. A few years ago Mac worshiped the ground Dennis walked on. If you’d asked him a few years ago where he and Mac would’ve been today, he probably wouldn’t have been able to answer, but he would’ve been certain Mac would’ve been there somehow.

If Dennis were less certain of their distance being mostly Mac’s fault, he would probably have thought about how much he’d taken Mac for granted. But it was mostly Mac’s fault, so that wasn’t anything that came to mind.

Dennis sighed, cranking his window down as he drove back to South Philly with Dee and Charlie in the backseat. His passenger seat was glaringly empty, and he pointedly ignored any mention of Mac at all.

‘Do you want to go to dinner or something to celebrate?’ Charlie suggested, clearly unsure of how to deal with Dennis’ silence.

‘No, Charlie,’ Dennis responded flatly. ‘I don’t want to do anything but drop you off and go home to pack.’

‘Pack for what, exactly?’ Dee questioned, leaning forward and getting her beak right in Dennis’ face. ‘You _just_ graduated college; where are you gonna go?’

‘Mom put me up in an apartment in South Philly. It’s cheap as shit, but at least I’m not paying rent on it.’

‘What?!’ Dee whined. ‘Mom’s paying for your apartment? And yet I have to work at that disgusting cafe with that waitress Charlie’s obsessed with?’

‘I’m not _obsessed—’_

_‘_ It’s not my fault Mom loves me more, Sweet Dee. What am I gonna do, not take the benefits that come with being the favourite child?’ Dennis scoffed. ‘You know, _maybe_ , if you’d be less goddamn irritating, then—’ Dennis cut short as he pulled up to Charlie’s to see Mac sitting on Charlie’s stoop.

Mac looked up, freezing as he made eye contact with Dennis.

Dennis stared back, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other these past few years — they’d even hung out, but always as a group. Any time Dennis had tried to makeplans for the two of them alone, Mac had made excuses until it was just embarrassing to ask anymore. So there was some distance. But not enough to not get out of the car and say hi.

Charlie hopped out, and as Dennis followed, Dee sighed and got out as well with a roll of her eyes.

‘What are you doin’ here, man?’ Charlie greeted Mac.

‘Uh…’ Mac glanced briefly at Dennis, who narrowed his eyes in response, before facing Charlie again. ‘I thought maybe you’d want to hang out tonight.’

‘Well, _unfortunately_ , we’re already going out to a bar to celebrate my graduation,’ Dennis interrupted before Charlie could even open his mouth to respond. ‘Which, I mean, you must’ve lost your ticket to.’

Mac bit his lip, looking guilty. _As he should_.

‘I thought you wanted to go pack—’ Dee started, _that bitch_.

‘Pack for what?’ Mac asked, now having the _gall_ to look pissed off. ‘You goin’ somewhere?’

‘Yeah,’ Dennis challenged. ‘To live in my sweet new bang-pad in South Philly.’

Mac blinked. ‘Oh. I thought you wanted to…get out of here, or whatever.’

Dennis shifted awkwardly. ‘Well, first of all, what would _you_ know about what I want? Second of all, I am _eventually_. Just have to figure out what my plans are first, and I don’t want to do that under Frank’s goddamn thumb.’

‘Yeah, if you guys are going to catch up, can we do it at a bar?’ Dee complained. ‘I’m bored of standing here and I want a beer.’

‘Goddamn it, Dee, is this not _my_ night?!’ Dennis snapped back, before exhaling his frustration. ‘But, fine. You want to go to a bar? Let’s go to a goddamn bar!’ Dennis spun around, hopping back into the Range Rover and slamming his door. When Dee and Charlie followed, and Mac stood awkwardly on the sidewalk, Dennis rolled his eyes, and snapped, ‘Get in, you moron.’

Mac bit back a small smile and hopped in on the passenger side, elbowing Dennis playfully when he got in.

Dennis glared in response before pulling out onto the road again, biting back his own smile as he faced the windscreen.

* * *

‘Philly’s never gonna change,’ Charlie mumbled drunkenly. ‘I love this town!’

‘You’re only saying that because you hate change,’ Dennis mumbled back, just as tanked. ‘Change is good, Charlie. It’s what keeps things from being static or…idle…whatever.’

‘What the fuck are you guys talking about?’ Dee squawked.

‘For once, I agree with Sweet Dee,’ Mac slurred. ‘What are you guys on about?’

‘This is why I wanna travel!’ Dennis cried out. ‘Everyone in Philly’s so goddamn dumb, and nothing ever changes. It’s all the same every day.’

‘Do you like it, though?’ Mac asked.

‘Like what?’

‘Do you like Philly?’

‘I mean, I guess…’

‘So what’s so wrong with it staying the same?’

‘…I don’t know.’

* * *

‘We should buy a bar!’ Charlie shrieked, gesturing around themselves at the crowded bar. ‘I mean, look at all these people, man!’

Dennis blinked slowly, feeling really groggy at this point as he surveyed the crowd. ‘Yeah, looks like the bar business is _booming_.’

‘It’s always lucrative in Philadelphia,’ Dee giggled.

‘Shut up, bird,’ the boys all chorused with equal sounds of contempt.

‘We should, though…’ Mac said. ‘We should buy a bar.’

Dennis turned his gaze to Mac’s, blinking when he saw his hopeful, excited face. Suddenly, all he could think of was days of lounging around a bar and drinking, talking shit with Mac, and hooking up with whoever would be up for it. Seemed like a better idea than logically it was.

‘Well, shit.’ Dennis grinned. ‘Let’s buy a bar.’

* * *

It was back and forth on it for a few months after that drunken night. Charlie and Mac were overexcited about it, looking up bars that were selling and saving the small amount of income they were getting. Dee and Dennis were not down for it at all, both hoping for something better with their lives.

It almost all fell apart for Mac when his mom kicked him out. Not for anything in particular, just because she was sick of his face. Mac turned up at Dennis’ apartment with his eyes suspiciously glassy and asked to stay the night. Apparently he’d gone to Charlie first, but Schmitty had just moved out of Charlie’s place, and he was surprisingly able to handle the rent, and so he didn’t want a roommate (or even a guest) for his studio apartment, and sent him to Dennis’. Dennis allowed it, letting him sleep in his guest room.

The next morning Mac had made him some shitty, burnt up breakfast, and suggested he move in. Dennis wanted to say no, he wanted to keep his apartment to himself, and he wanted to keep things simple with Mac after everything that had happened. Their friendship was really on the mend, and he — for some reason — didn’t want to screw that up.

So Mac was his roommate now.

Great.

* * *

If you’d asked Dennis seven months ago, when he’d graduated college, where he would be now, he would’ve said almost anything than what had really happened.

Even sitting on the roof, watching the sunrise as he leant against Mac with Charlie and Dee beside them, he couldn’t believe his own eyes. They had bought a bar. Paddy’s Irish Pub was their bar. He, Mac, and Charlie owned a business.

_So much for becoming a vet_ , Dennis thought to himself, but didn’t feel an ounce of regret.

Because as Mac, Charlie, and Dee all beamed at him, eyes red and heads thumping with hangovers, he couldn’t regret his decision. Sure, he hated these people. They were, objectively, the biggest assholes in Philadelphia, and he could clearly do better, but…there had been three seats reserved at his graduation. Maybe only two had actually ended up filled, but all four of them sat there now.

As a plane flew over the top of them, Dennis looked up and thought, _someday_ he’d get out of here. Someday he’d get on a plane and never look back at this shitty, idle town.

For now, though…for now, this was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative chapter title is: Dennis...has feelings? Maybe? 
> 
> No one:   
> No one at all:   
> Me: My headcanon is Dennis got three tickets for his graduation, but only Dee and Charlie showed up. Mac didn't.


	9. The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and I'm afraid that's just the way the world works  
> It ain't funny, it ain't pretty, it ain't sweet  
> Oh, and I'm afraid that's just the way the world works  
> But I think that it could work for you and me  
> Just wait and see  
> It's not the end of the story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS:  
> Brief references to suicide, mentions of mental health issues and panic attacks, character death in dream, references to parental issues

Dennis stumbled out of Paddy’s, dropping down to sit on the sidewalk outside. It was cold, and so quiet outside that he could hear Dee’s brace creaking from outside. Everyone was having a good time inside, getting drunk and forgetting their night, but Dennis couldn’t stop thinking about the newsflash he’d been given earlier at the reunion.

He hadn’t been popular in high school. People _hadn’t_ liked him. People thought he had been just as strange as Mac and Charlie and Dee. What else did he remember wrong?

Had he _ever_ loved Maureen? He certainly didn’t now. He wanted as far away from that cat as possible.

Had he _ever_ impressed the hell out of his teachers with his intellect despite not giving a shit about school? It’s not like he got far with his college degree with its pitiful GPA.

Sometimes he even questioned if there had been that stretch of time where he and Mac had…It’s certainly not happening now, and it was even harder to believe it ever had now that Mac looked so different. Secretly, Dennis was a fan of Mac’s weight gain, but he wasn’t going to tell _him_ that. Fuck him if he was going to try and get Dennis to also put on that weight. Dennis wouldn’t look like Mac with weight on. He would be a true failure then.

Dennis groaned to himself, putting his head between his legs as the ache in his chest deepened. It was another one of those nights. The night where his God Hole got bigger, and his mind got darker.

In some ways, he knew he was lucky to even be alive. There had been times in high school where he and Dee had had depressive episodes at the same time. It hadn’t been pretty, and he’d been better at faking indifference, but Dee not so much. When they were sixteen, he’d walked in on Dee in her room having a panic attack. She had been almost unreachable, and Dennis followed right along with her.

It had probably been one of the moments where he felt closest to Dee, despite how shitty it felt. They had held hands and cried and gasped, both knowing how little they loved themselves, and how little anyone else loved them. With their family’s money, they could have almost everything they wanted, but they weren’t loved. Not even by each other.

Finally, when it was over, Dee breathed out against his shoulder, back brace stabbing him in the side, ‘Do you ever think about just…’

She never finished her sentence, but she never needed to. Twins’ brains were similar, Dennis figured, so he always knew.

‘Oh, yeah,’ Dennis had responded. ‘Yep.’

Dee clasped his hand tighter. ‘If you ever—Just…not without me, okay?’

‘Yeah, okay, Sweet Dee.’

Now, on the sidewalk, Dennis let in a shuddering breath and tried to think of something else. There had to be something good from high school. What those douchebags said at the reunion couldn’t represent him. That moment with Dee couldn’t represent him. He was the Golden God, goddamn it.

Suddenly, he thought of Charlie. Surely there must be a memory buried in there, something that was good with Charlie. Almost unprompted, a memory popped into his head of them sitting under the bleachers, waiting for Mac and Dee to come meet them.

It was one of the first times they hung out alone, and Charlie was all worked up about something. They were both smoking in silence, and Dennis couldn’t ignore Charlie’s constant tapping of his foot on the ground. He was fidgeting and murmuring to himself, and Dennis was about ready to lose it.

‘Charlie!’ Dennis had snapped, not continuing until Charlie looked up. ‘What’s your problem, man?’

‘I, uh, I just…’ Charlie shook his head sharply. ‘My…I’m having some problems with my Ma. I just…I hate her sometimes, you know?’

‘Who doesn’t hate their parents,’ Dennis scoffed.

Charlie shook his head again, jerking it from side to side almost recklessly. ‘I hate that whole _house_. Nothing good happens there. I…I want to move out, but I c-can’t.’

Dennis blinked at the seriousness creeping into Charlie’s voice. He eyed him with caution, worried that this would somehow become something about Charlie’s _feelings_ , and he couldn’t handle that. The cigarette he was smoking was calming his nerves, he didn’t need to get amped up again trying to remember how to fake sympathy.

‘Sucks, man.’ Dennis coughed awkwardly, looking around as if Mac and Dee would appear and help him out. After a few moments of silence, he offered, ‘Well, how about…if you get a job and save up to move out, I’ll move out with you?’

Charlie frowned in confusion and surprise. ‘Oh…I…what about…What?’

Dennis rolled his eyes, wishing Charlie understood he only offered this to stop the conversation. It was a pity offer — one he figured he’d never have to cash in. So instead of snapping at Charlie, he merely explained, ‘Dude, if you get a job and save up, it’ll be cheaper to move in with a roommate. So, I’ll move out with you when you do. My parents will pay for me to move out. They’re probably desperate to get me out.’

‘Oh…okay. Thanks, man.’ Charlie had still looked suspicious, but at least he shut up.

Finally, back in reality, Dennis was starting to calm down. It wasn’t a particularly great memory with Charlie, but it was something that definitely happened. It was real and true. Sure, it never came to fruition, but he did offer that. After that conversation, Mac and Dee had showed up, and they had all went back to Dennis and Dee’s. Then he and Mac had made out under the stairs for a while. He was sure.

Now out of control, his mind slipped to Mac. If anything was true about his memories, it was Mac. He could remember exactly how Mac’s shoulders felt under the palms of his hands, how his lips pressed warm against his own, and his face when he smiled breathlessly. That had all happened.

He briefly remembered a dream he had had during the time in college he and Mac had been distant. He had dreamt of he and Mac in high school, kissing in his room.

Mac had pulled away and whispered, ‘I love you.’

In a panic, Dennis had shoved him away, feeling everything still and go quiet. He had leant toward Mac again, not knowing what else to do but letting out a deep, agonising roar. The dream had then snapped to Dennis getting on a plane, to who knew where. He could see Mac standing on the tarmac in front of the plane.

As the plane began to take off, Dennis had risen from his seat and screamed that Mac was in the way, and that they were going to hit him. The plane continued regardless of his cries for help, and he heard a sickening thump just before the plane left the ground.

He had woken up, sweating and panting in his dorm room. Feeling queasy, he had left his dorm room to go to the payphone. He rang Mac’s house, but no one picked up. He didn’t leave a message, merely let out an exhale and hung up, trudging back through the snow to his dorm.

Dennis jumped as a hand touched his knee, breaking him out of his stupor. He turned and saw Mac sitting down next to him, looking every bit as old as Dennis right now. They were older, and they would get even older, and Dennis could only watch as time went by without him.

‘It’s cold,’ Mac commented. ‘What’re you doin’ out here?’

Dennis shrugged, leaning into Mac’s side and being pleasantly surprised at how soft he was. ‘Just thinking about what happened tonight.’

Mac cleared his throat. ‘Yeah, me too. High school sucks, man.’

‘Yeah,’ Dennis agreed, not knowing what else to do but unable to stop himself as he slipped his hand into Mac’s. He interlaced their fingers. ‘It’s certainly not pretty.’

He glanced at Mac to see his cheeks burning red despite the cold. Somewhere deep in his muddy brain, Dennis found a bit of amusement in how Mac now looked like Santa Claus.

‘Would’ve been worse without you,’ Mac murmured back, looking down at their hands.

Dennis cleared his throat awkwardly, extracting his hand from Mac’s. ‘Ditto, bro.’


End file.
